sometimes i feel that everything we do is so insignificant. so transient. something that mattered so much to me today might mean nothing tmr, much less ten years from now. and something that felt so normal, and part of everyday life, might be looked back upon in the future as the best happiest times. like no matter how happy i am now, or at peace with everything.. i will always see my rgs days as the best time of my life.

it really amazes me how everything in this world works sometimes. how things happen in their own way in their own time. how things fall away, and return. in a different manner and form. at a different time. how some words, some conversations and possibly the most random things stick in my head forever. and just thinking of the simple, sincere concern and affection, just makes my heart hum. i'm rambling here.. but my mum always tell me how horrid and disgusting people can be in the 'outside world', and i never believed her. till i came face to face with it this year. but still, i don't believe that it applies to the majority. cos i really feel i have the most wonderful loveliest friends. who never fail to make everything alright. sometimes i just think, if i can hold on to those i have now. just this group, and then i won't need anybody else. i'm tired of making new friends and seeing the worst sides of people.. i have my tried and tested bunch and it really seems enough.

time is such a fickle thing. five seconds can be so long to a weight-lifter, and yet ten years can be so short to someone who only has ten more years to live. i keep telling myself that the best is yet to come. what's meant to be will be. i'm ok with waiting.. its just i now have to learn how to be ok if all the waiting comes to naught.

dying inside to hold you
couldn't believe what i felt for you
dying inside
i was dying inside
but i couldn't bring myself to touch you